I owe my first toastmaster experience to my Mom… which began 25 years ago in New Bern, North Carolina while I sat under an 8’ table, grabbing bites of my Hardee’s Cinnamon Raisin Biscuits (worthy to capitalize) when you spend a decade in the in between playing with Transformers and GI Joes. I can still hear the marble drop in the tin can for every “umm” & filler word mentioned in those meeting (sounds a bit old school, now).
Fast forward to today, I presented a speech for my Buffalo Toastmasters public speaking Club. As part of the Advanced Communication Series, I presented my “Mastering the Toast” speech project which challenged me to present a two- to three- minute toast in honor of a person. I chose my Mom, since she has been a model Toastmaster in my life. I share my list below.
Top 10 Things I Learned from my Mom About Communication:
10. God gave us two ears and one mouth. We shall use them in that proportion. Many of us forget the importance of listening
9. You’ll get farther with sugar than vinegar. Especially when it comes with dealing with the IRS on the phone. Steady persistence using patience and a sense of humor usually pays off more than stinging words.
8. Simple IS better. And that goes for preparing for a family dinner, writing a cover letter, or planning a wedding. Less can be more.
7. ‘Thank you portions’ can open your eyes. Instead of turning away Brussels’ sprouts, as for a small “thank you” portion. Our taste buds change with age and being opening up to new things, whether it be foods or Toastmaster speaking opportunities can open up amazing new doors. Never thought it would take me 33 years to like Brussels’ sprouts.
6. It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it. Which do you think feels better? Mom, I love you. OR. Mom, I LOVE you !!!
5. “Why do you ask?” A perfect response to someone asking a personal question you choose not to answer, simply respond in a nice way: “Why do you ask?” You might be surprised at their reaction.
4. Back pedaling isn’t easy, especially when you are on your mountain bike with a flat tire miles from nowhere and didn’t want to bring a spare tube/pump because of not wanting to lug the extra 300 grams of weight. Same goes with not telling the truth. You never know how much you can do until you try to undo what you have already done.
3. Smile. Actions really do speak louder than words. A smile & sparkle in the eyes goes a long way.
2. Thoughtfulness is never over rated. Homemade jam always tastes better than Smuckers.
1. Never underestimate the power of a simple compliment. Mom, you’re awesome.
Mom, I send you my best wishes for health, happiness, and your continued source of inspiration for those around you. And I must say, of all the toasts I’ve given in my entire life, this one, this very Top 10 toast, by far.. is the most special!
Here we enjoying simple things in life: a Starbuck’s gift card and a handwritten thank you note card from someone special (you know know you are):
PS – A special thanks to the support of my fellow Buffalo Toastmasters, kind enough to not hand me a ticket for going 15 seconds over the {speaking} limit.
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Posted by R. J. on August 17, 2011
Introducing my new favorite recipe of light: The Sandwich Method. Looks like a million bucks, yet doesn’t cost $8,000. And it’s yummy.
When I stumble on this kind of glamour lighting setup, especially in an abandoned railroad car, you might hear white fronted capuchin monkey sounds like, “Ooo ooo ooo.” Clients don’t get my enthusiasm until I show them their photo in said lighting conditions. See?!?! a picture really is worth a thousand worths!
I stumbled upon this natural lighting scenario in an when shooting Scott & Alyssa’s portrait session. What a find! I couldn’t have set my Alien Bees up to make this look any better.. that is the beauty of natural light.
What amazed me the most was the sheer quality of light… on par with a studio lighting setup – in an unsuspecting location. Which is a great reminder to keep your eyes peeled for similiar scenarios on your next shoot.
What is this Sandwich Method you speak of?
Sandwiching your subjects together with light coming from 180 degree opposite directions sculpts shadows where you’d least expect to create a shadow: dead center in middle of your subject.
Think of the light as a vertical slice of bread. Take two slices (light facing each other) and have your subject stand equidistant in between the two light sources. If you move closer to one, that light will appear slightly brighter, while the other will loose effect.
Can I do the same with flashes?
Yippers, This lighting recipe works well with any light, either artificial or natural. Natural is just cheaper. However, to pull this off in an artificial lighting world: you’ll need duplicate equipment to achieve the same look (costs x 2) plus some VERY large lighting modifiers like this 74” Octa powered by an Elinchrom Ranger would do the trick.
Where to find it a cheaper version of this sort of light?
If you like your lighting on the cheap, you’ll need to hunt to find the goodness.
Here’s a visual of what to look for: think of your shooting space like a square box with the sides cut out allowing light to pass through like your hand through a box you are assembling. The dark foreground, background, top and bottom create the necessary darkness to create shadows.
In the real world, to find your very own sammich lighting, look in places which have covered sidewalks blocked by walls, inside buildings with glass walls, or under a small patio with two openings. Use your imagination. Or head to your nearest abandoned rail yard with permission, of course.
Why is this sexy light?
Look closely and you’ll find the clients are lit from only two directions… which create the shadows which define shape (kinda like a good sauce makes a dish). The lighting are exactly the same from each direction, which marriage well together with my couple. Personally, the quality of light makes this photo, location second, and composition third. The emotion is there, too, along with some groovy suspenders. The dark background creates needed contrast to see Alyssa & Scott, otherwise which could be swallowed in vapid darkness to the liking of Edward Cullen.
What’s the culinary equivalent?
Maggiano’s family style Italian dining, most likely in the realm of my favorite Rigatoni D (recipe here). Quality, quantity, value, comfort, and love all wrapped into one.
I chose to zoom out so you can see the source of the light, which adds nice context to our surroundings… wish there was a grassy horizon with Black Angus grazing.
If you see a photo you like… ask yourself, “How would shake it up and make it different?” Small things make a big difference. Shake it up. Even IF it is a polaroid.
“If I saw something in my viewfinder that looked familiar to me, I would do something to shake it up.” – Garry Winogrand
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Posted by R. J. on August 15, 2011
My good friends Scott & Alyssa invited me to Sterling, Colorado to shoot a one-year anniversary 1930s stylized shoot inspired by the movie “O Brother, Where Art Thou?.” You might remember them from their engagement session and awesome wedding. And if you like homemade pie, old books, country living, watermelon, fedora, trains, moonshine, old books, 1930s living, frogs, and floating money, you might like this:
The money shot… and my favorite from the entire session:
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Posted by R. J. on August 14, 2011
Like Momma said to us boys, ‘Can’t polish a sneaker’ when choosing a girlfriend.
I say, ‘Can’t polish a turd’ when editing a photograph.
Yet with a good image, you can make it great using the right creative recipes. Like adding salt to a dish, there is a fine line between making art and ruining something perfectly good. Same goes with post-processing in wedding photography… a little goes a long way. 50% of the art of wedding photography lies in post-processing which is really no different than traditional darkroom techniques. When in doubt, I think to myself: What kind of image do I still want to look at in 50 years?
Not many wedding destination wedding photographers embrace the HDR approach, so I gave it the old college try during Amy & Sean’s wedding at the Astra Suites in Imerovigli Santorini, Greece. My buddy Trey Ratcliff over at Stuck In Customs creates some amazing high dynamic range (HDR) landscapes images. I recommend his HDR tutorial if you are interested learning more. While I’m no fan of the overly ‘fake’ looking HDR images which tend to give the technique a bad rap, I strived to create a “classy” effect that pushes the creative envelope.
Did I succeed?
Stay tuned for the day-of-wedding post, details, real moments, and portraits on an epic Mediterranean cruise!
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Posted by R. J. on August 10, 2011
Sometimes it’s chilling on the couch. Sometimes it’s drinking beer. Sometimes it’s just hanging in the front yard. Sometimes it’s all three.
I’m blessed to have so many great friends in my life. Why not make a little personal portrait project out of it? Cheers to the first of many!
Posted by R. J. on August 9, 2011
I write this post still in awe how awesome life works out. I still pinch myself how lucky I am to have met Krista!
Our story:
It all started with brunch with Colorado wedding photographer Rachel Olsen at Root Down last Feb. I’ve known Rach for years. Not only is her photography amazing (I’m jealous at times), but she’s a terrific person, mom, and a stellar athlete (ski patrolled at Vail, biked guide in Italy). She hopes to complete an Ironman in the next few years… good to know I’ll have another training buddy. We were catching up on life before attending the Power of Passion photographer workshop (my review here) when Rach said, “You know, you’d make a great match for my sister-in-law. The only thing: she lives in Minneapolis.” My jaw dropped to the floor. I was giddy. I was scheduled to teach a workshop the following week in MN, then got stranded due to weather. God truly works in mysterious ways. What started out completely {gasp!} not a date, turned into one. Rach, you’re the best matchmaker I could imagine!
Fast forward a few months, I proposed to Krista and she said YES! View photos from actual surprise engagement here.
On planning a wedding:
We envision our wedding as simple, genuine, and filled with quality family time as the main centerpiece. We liked the idea of breaking away from tradition. For example, we want to maximize time with family in a warm place, so we’re getting married on a Tuesday of Spring Break so family can travel on a Saturday and return on a Saturday. Wedding vendors like midweek weddings positioned in off-peak months, too. We’ll get married under a tree (design & coordination by Kuleana Design). There will be fire spinning and really good food by Noah & Judy. The engagement ring I gave Krista resembles a traditional band… an understated ring utilitarian given her line of work, the same one she always liked. The ‘wedding ring’ will feature Tiffany bling.
As wedding photographer myself, I’m fascinated to view an industry in a refreshing new way – starting with the planning process. My initial thoughts:
- Planning a wedding doesn’t have to be stressful or consume your life.
- Planning a wedding doesn’t have to follow tradition.
- Planning a wedding doesn’t have to be expensive.
- Planning a wedding doesn’t have to come from a wedding magazine.
When you think about it, humans have been getting married for thousands of years. Diamond engagement rings only became common in the 1930s after DeBeers proclaimed a man should spend two months’ income on the ring. In the 1800s, sewing thimbles were common betrothal gifts. I only wonder what bridal trends we see today will we look back and wonder – What were we thinking?!?!
I’ll place my bets on the money dance, flashes during the ceremony, the garter toss, and the exhausting receiving line.
*** The chicken dance, however, will remain as a an excuse to leave the dance floor, grab a drink, and admire Grandpa dancing. ***
>> My advice to those planning a wedding: Surround yourself with creative people you trust.
On choosing a wedding photographer:
Hiring James Christianson to photograph our wedding just felt right. James (friends call him Jim) has hit a level of success in his personal life, professional photography career, and accomplishments as a visual artist which I admire. Spending time with Jim during our engagement session affirmed that in every way. He was perfect for us! Apparently Ralph Lauren’s daughter, Dylan, must have thought the same (check out August 2011 issue of Vogue or James’ blog post here).
I challenged Jim on our engagement session to be 100% himself and shoot what makes him happy. He shot only film, bringing several cameras each with a specific purpose. Seeing him work the magic behind all of the film cameras, brought back a sense of nostalgia of a vanishing photographic art created with medium-format film cameras like the Contax 645 or Pentax 67II. Make no mistake, the shutter click THUNK! of his Pentax 67II inspires confidence and awe… at least from the perspective of having that thing pointed at me. I knew he nailed the shot just from the sound. THUNK! That shutter sound doesn’t compare to toy click of the infamous Canon 5D.
>> My advice to those choosing a wedding photographer: Choose a photographer you trust, who’s work you love, and one who makes you feel beautiful.
The images turned out amazing and I couldn’t have envisioned a more perfect experience. Thanks, Jim!
A few favorites from our engagement session in Laporte, Colorado (click here view the rest of the images by James Christianson):
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Posted by R. J. on August 7, 2011
